it's time to be shallow.

the red dress above was $50 at von maur. i finally have a "little red dress!"

i got the dress to the left for $10 at target.
i like it a lot... were it floor-length, i'd get married in it :)

the blue dress was $9 at von maur. i may as well have had stolen it!

questions i have always had

how is it wrong to kill a baby in its' mother's womb if it is right to kill a convict in a prison cell?
how is wrong to kill that baby if it is right to kill a man "in the name of war?"
*both individuals have the stain of original sin. neither individual is innocent. how is it right to pass judgement on one and not the other?*
how is it wrong to give legal benefits to a couple that is in love and committed to one another based on sexual orientation?
how is it wrong to allow these couples to adopt a child when it is right to allow abusive parents to emotionally scar and fuck up america's future?
*i may disagree with the action, but the emotion of true love is in no way sinful.*
how is it right to deny a single mother working two jobs welfare but give it to a man who shot himself in the head and survived?
*the mentally unstable should be cared for. they should not be fed with a silver spoon.*
how can the c.e.o. of a nonprofit organization make over $400,000 per fiscal year?
*united way.*
how is it right for a christian to condemn a brother or sister in christ based on religious denomination?
how is it right for any member of any religion to condemn an individual to hell or eternal punishment?
*no one really knows. pure and simple. we have our guesses, but we don't know. also, i'm not God. neither are you.*
how is it legal to record and sell videos of people having sex but is illegal to directly sell sex?
*either way, you're paying for sex.*
how can an individual regain their virginity after losing it?
*i've got news for you "born-agains:" that's bullshit, and you know it. once it's gone, it's gone.*
why is there always one winner and the rest are losers?
*aren't there varying degrees of political correctness? shouldn't that transcend to other forms of correctness?*
why do people care enough to complain but not enough to change?
*everyone knows the answer to this.*
ponder this, my friends.
if you think you can justify yourself, please do so. i'm eager to see what kinds of half-baked responses will ensue.
peace

...on edge

i know i'm spoiled, being able to hear from him every couple of days. i'm just so on edge... i haven't heard from him in a week. that's not like him... even if he had nothing to talk about, he'd still call to let me know that he's okay.
maybe he got moved to where he doesn't have access to a phone. maybe they don't have interent where he is, either. maybe he's just been really busy, and not had time for me. if that's the case, that's fine... i'm going to call his parents sometime soon to ask them if they've heard from him. if they have, i'm going to stop stressing... at least he called someone to let them know he's alright. i'd rather it be them than me... i know my place.
i'm just so fucking worried... i love him so much, and it kills me to know that he's in harm's way. i would do anything to see him home safe. i keep telling myself that God would not put the two of us together, make us as happy as we are, and then tear it apart like a voided check so soon. that wouldn't be right... it would be downright cruel. i know God isn't in this damned war, but He has to be protecting someone. i just hope it's brian. i know that makes me selfish, wanting my main squeeze to come home safe to me... but i love him more than i could ever say. he has made me so ridiculously happy... now that we're together, i can't imagine life apart.
this fucking deployment is tearing my heart out... but i know that at the end, it will have been worth it. he is so worth it. i just keep praying that he'll make it through. if anything happened to him, i doubt i would be able to function. i don't even want to think about it.
a friend posted something on his blog the other day that made me cry. not the simple, benign tears that can be wiped away by any well-wishing friend, but the bitter, stinging tears that burn as they roll down your cheek and into your lap. it made me realize how worried i am about him, and how much i just want to hold him. i don't know what i would do if i couldn't hold him again. i won't think about it. i can't.
to anyone who reads this, keep brian in your prayers. even if you don't know him, or me... any prayer is heard and appreciated. even if you just pushed the "next blog" button and happened to read this desperate post, please say a short prayer for my best friend.
he has to come home.
he has to.